learning to wait

learning to wait sucks. when we're young we have to wait till we're bigger, wait till we're stronger or older, then school hits and it's waiting to graduate or join a team, or meet "that" girl. you finally achieve that high school accomplishment and it's waiting for college to start and end. then "real" life begins, where you look for a job... the "right" job mind you, not just any job. you do that for a while with some changes in between, usually finding the "righter job" which usually ends up being the wrong one anyway. then you wait to retire, to have grand kids, to live comfortably, to die. And all the time it never gets any easier to wait for what we want. 

currently we're waiting for our first child. we're in the proc

ess of adopting which in some ways is easier but in most ways it seems much harder. we tried for a couple years to have kids, "not the right time" was the common sentiment, then we decided last december almost exactly a year ago to seriously pursue adoption. almost a year later we continue to wait. tomorrow is our first interview. 3pm might be the hour our waiting to know ends. 

it's hard to wait when someone else controls the situation. the thing about waiting is that it develops character. god constantly tells people to wait, often for very very long periods of time. some wait and wonder for 40 years, others wait for only moments but it seems like with the pressing circumstances that it was decades. i've been reading in the book of matthew lately, as our community wraps up the last couple weeks of our year spent in this book. a year of repentance, turning back to god, getting on his agenda, re-learning to be disciples of jesus. i've been sitting in the passage that talks about jesus las

t day on the earth before he's murdered. mankind had been waiting for thousands of years for this event, yet in the moment i feel myself wishing it could have been so different. i feel for the disciples, they turn to flee as arrested, beaten, spat upon, kissed with the cold embrace of a traitor. they had followed and waited for 3 years, walking with this man in whom they'd put all their hopes and trust. what they feared was coming to pass, he was taken, given a trial the likes of which could only be created by liars and cowards or by religious fanatics, and then was killed. little did they know it would all soon come to glory. waiting is good, though it sucks when we're in it sometimes. 

i keep asking god to help me learn to wait, he has been so faithful. waiting brings perseverance, which leads to trust. trust leads to love... may we all be filled with that. waiting is not bad, just hard. waiting for god gets easier though b/c you can stand firm in the fact that he will always come thru one way or another.... 

that's what's on my mind today. much love friends