if only to be known

Have you ever had the feeling that the life you were living was something of a dream? That weirdly odd feeling that maybe at any moment your eyes will open and the dawns light will break thru the shutters on the window and you'll wake up in some place that is warmly familiar but so very distant from this reality. Maybe it's just me. Sometimes I wonder if anyone really knows who we are.

We've gotten so very good at insulating our lives from other people. Sure we have "close" relationships, even inexplicably deep friendships that are closer than many others but how often do we have people in our lives that really know us? They know the thoughts we have, the struggles we fight, the temptations, the fears... the reality.

Often as a pastor, I find myself feeling very alone. Hidden in the cloaks of the position but just as lost as many who God has put in my path to "help." We like our labels for people. They help us define who they "are" or at least who they are "supposed to be," but too often they add to the layers of insulation between our being known. So we struggle alone against what seems to be a unceasing internal battle to be something that we're not.

The lie we've bought into is not a new one. It's the "I am" lie. It usually goes something like this... "I AM: able to cope, bigger than this thing, able to do this alone, stronger, going to change, the person i think i am." As a blow to my personal confidence the "I am" lie daily reminds me that in reality i am nothing. How do we change all this though? Can anyone really know us? My answer came thru the pages of a very old book that changes my life every time I open it.

The Bible has introduced me to the one who really knows me. All my baggage, strengths, fears, failures are laid in plain sight of the only one who could ever really know me. He creates, thus he knows. His name is Jesus, and the Bible's pages are ALL about him. Here's the beautiful part, in spite of all that crap, He also loves me. So much so that he literally moves heaven and earth to restore my broken relationship with him to make himself known to me.

It's comforting to know that someone knows me, really knows me. Being known is incredible. It's filling. It's purpose giving. It allows me to want to let others in as well and to begin to know others. Brokenness is par for the course when it comes to the human walk. We all get stuck in the stuff about ourselves that we hate but can't seem to change. We need true relationships to help us heal those parts of ourselves. Jesus is the first in that process to true knowing, but it goes out from there. Take a step and let someone in. You might find that we're all pretty broken, we all need grace, and together we'll all grow.

These verses in Romans 13 from the Bible have been encouraging me daily lately:
"The hour has already come for you to wake up from your slumber, because our salvation is nearer now than when we first believed. 12 The night is nearly over; the day is almost here. So let us put aside the deeds of darkness and put on the armor of light. 13 Let us behave decently, as in the daytime, not in carousing and drunkenness, not in sexual immorality and debauchery, not in dissension and jealousy. 14 Rather, clothe yourselves with the Lord Jesus Christ, and do not think about how to gratify the desires of the flesh."

Jesus is the God of grace... he wants us to let Him in. He wants us to know the fulfillment of being known.

I'm not sure if you made it this far, frankly I'm not sure i would have. I feel like I was supposed to write these words for someone tonight. If it's you let me know. If you want to continue this conversation further i'd be happy to as well. Let's get to know each other.

much love