Today concluded a 40 day journey with God that I've been on, it's technically now day 41 as I sit in sleeplessness in the wee morning hours. These forty days started on a smallish retreat that Michelle and I took to get away and reconnect after what had proven to be a very full and somewhat stressful year. We had a great couple of days away and out of it I felt that God was leading me toward something, but I didn't know what/when/where or really anything else. So I, in my infinite wisdom, said to God, "how 'bout 40 days to figure this out." My goal was for this simple prayer to be on my lips each day...
A Prayer For Revival : 40 days of prayer for direction
... for God's hand to move
... for us to see as He sees
and ... for my heart to be soft enough to respond
Seemingly simple enough, but one of the hardest things I've ever asked God to do. Over the past 40 days God has responded to my prayers and shown me some incredible things and yet at the end of it I feel just as seemingly uncertain as ever. God has and certainly is calling me into a season of family, with a beautiful wife, and two great kids (and a stellar semi-adopted teenager) our home is very full (there's always room for more though), and I really feel like this is something that God's reinforcing as a primary ministry in my heart. The protection of these lives that I spend each and every day with is a beautiful privilege and one that I think God has convicted me of how often i really take it for granted.
A second thing that's come to the foreground is a great desire to see Church re-envisioned. This is born more out of an unrest in my own spirit when it comes to how we approach faith more than out of any particular of my current church experience. The church family that we're a part of here in PA is absolutely amazing. Never have I met a more gifted or committed group of Saints in my life. They believe in the mission of love that God has them on and are willing to make hard sacrifices to see that come to fruition. And yet with such a great legacy of faith around me, I find a longing for more personal, deeper, life filling kind of worship as a community. I think the early church was on to something when it came to how they spent their days together. It was community, not just a group of like minded folks who sat next to each other every seven days or so. Rather, they let their lives rub up against each other and in the process polished off all the burs and blemishes that hindered pursuit of God's glory.
What strikes me most is the sense of urgency that they carried in their actions, their speech, their very lives. Unhindered and reckless in their pursuit of LOVE they came with commitment to the throne, casting all they'd previously strived toward at the alter of God's honor and glory. Have we ever lived with this urgent need for LOVE's mission to drive fast ahead our pursuit of God?
It's now 3 Days later than when I started this post and my living room is filled with the passionate pursuit of LOVE's King. Apparently it takes just over 40 days... read the previous post on worship...
I'm watching God's hand move... I'm seeing as He sees (at least for a bit) ... now God give me the grace to respond.
