the dentist

michelle and i went to get our dutiful six month cleaning done again yest. at the dentist. what a joyful event that is (please insert sarcasm here)! i actually have no aversion to the dentist. i have an unreasonably high pain tolerance, which is a blessing from god since i'm usually injured in some way or another at most any given time. so while i'm sitting there in the dentist chair i hear the ever dreaded "huh" which when translated by someone who has spent as much time in the chair as i have means: well there it is, it's another cavity, which means another visit and some job security for me. did i mention that i have spent a lot of time in the dentist chair? i have. so now i have the joyous pleasure of returning to the 5th floor of 2251 n. clark st for the highly anticipated event.

here is my list of things i look forward too:
1. the numb lip syndrome (gotta love it when you can't feel your cheek and it just sorta hangs there!
2. the cool purple gloves that the dentist sometimes uses that actually taste like grape (now we're talkin!)
3. the hour to sit back and practice my philosophy as i think whether or not i actually exist or if this is just some trick of the mind, and further why i can't just will my body to rearrange the atoms to make my tooth better (i gotta figure that one out)
4. the cool suction thing that could remove your tongue if that little cap ever came off

things i don't look forward too:
1. that freakin' smell (i won't elaborate)
2. the strange feeling that somehow your face is permanently deformed by the novicane
3. the fact that i have to have all this happen on a tuesday! why make them worse?

i'll try to let you know how it all turns out, any more metal in my head and i'm gonna have to get an airport pass to let me get on planes, this is just rediculous. i've heard that brushing and flossing help though (just kidding, i'm pretty dilligent with brushing, not such the fan of flossing though)

i think that toothbrushes and floss are actually a conspiracy thought up by dentists to keep us coming back. it's just minty flavored so that we don't know we're grinding away our teeth with that constant ritual. hummm...gonna have to think more about that one...